
The bad news with schools is that they aren't good places for kids who are different.
The really bad news is that
everybody is different.
My student Nolan is one of 161 differences I encounter five days a week.
Nolan is in the eighth grade and he does a number of things that drive teachers and his parents crazy:
He can't seem to leave his neighbors alone with his incessant talking. He often blurts things out in the middle of my lessons. He turns in work that looks like hieroglyphics--that is, when he can find the work in his backpack or remembers to turn it in. He struggles to earn higher than an
F.
In spite of this, I insist that Nolan is a
GREAT, GREAT kid who is unfortunately stuck in an institution that wasn't made for him.
The words, "Individually tailored to
your specifications, to meet
your unique needs," is not the mantra of institutional schooling, public or private.
Don't get me wrong: I place great value on learning to follow directions, figuring out how to work within a system and adapting to situations that aren't exactly a natural fit. We need to know how to get along in various life situations.
What I am not so sure of is whether there is much value in learning how to fit into such a system as we currently offer. Let me tell you what distresses me most about the Nolan situation:
Like I said before, Nolan is a handful. This means that his parents continually hear what a pain he is from his teachers, and they always have to be cajoling him, threatening him, and begging him to be different.
By the sound of his voice over the phone and in the tone of his e-mails, Dad is none too pleased with this continual struggle. It is clear to me that this puts a strain on the father/son relationship.
What if Dad focused on something else? What if he thought more about how lucky he is to have an adolescent son who genuinely looks up to him, enjoys being with him, talks about his day to him, brags to his teachers about him?
What if he measured his son by something besides his school performance? Is that what we reduce our kids to, a GPA and a citizenship mark?
It really saddens me that Nolan's dad is missing out on some precious time spent with his son because he has to constantly ride him about being something he is not.
Nolan is a friendly, caring kid. He is one of just a handful of my students who doesn't act as though talking to the teacher is the most uncool thing a 13-year-old could do. Also, I would be willing to bet he is among the top students as far as IQ.
I think this kid will go far. I think he is way too smart for the state-mandated pablum we have to shove at him year after year. He needs something different.
He needs to be an apprentice and do some work of some kind; he needs to go out into the forest and run around, exploring nature; he needs to build something side-by-side with someone who can guide him and teach him; he needs to go to the library and find something he is interested in and become a 13-year-old expert at it; he needs to build a rocket, a race car, a computer...
He does not need to sit in a chair for six periods a day, straining to sit still and be quiet. Someday he must be able to master this, but now is not the time for him.
The time is different for everybody. That's why school sucks.