Sharpton Calls for Santa Claus' Firing!

Maybe in his ignoble departure Don Imus will have finally accomplished something worthwhile.

If his firing means that all media will now be scrubbed clean of the filthy, rude, and vulgar, then he will have died a hero. A brave warrior fallen on his microphone. A sacrifice to give us all a better life.

Riiiiight...and Sanjaya will get voted off American Idol before the bald guy.

Unless the father, son, and holy spirit of political correctness--the mainstream media, Jesse Jackson, and Al Sharpton--put their clout behind getting folks fired for flouting foul and faulty speech, it just ain't gonna happen.

Not that there aren't plenty of people who need their mouths washed out with soap.

Just google lyrics and ho and you will get an eyeful of the earful our youth are getting.

On my first try I got hits with those who are doing the most ho, ho, ho-ing (among other things): Ludacris, Trick Daddy, Kurupt, Nappy Roots, Poison Clan, and, finally, Don Ho (psych).

Since it is obviously not difficult to find offensive speech in the public sphere, it is mysterious as to why Al Sharpton and friends haven't taken care of this "ho"rrible problem already, since these artists all get airplay on the same channel as Sharpton's own radio program! Shocking!

A cynical person would think that Al Sharpton has some other agenda. But that's just really cynical people. I don't know anybody like that.

Blast from the past: Read my old post about the Bay Area sports radio personality who got the Imus Treatment before it became all the rage.

So, I Guess I'm a Racist

Today's protests over a new proposal to manage illegal immigration caused me to reflect on my own racist tendencies and those of my family.

As I write this, my wife and son are spending their Easter holiday in Mexico working with impoverished children, but I'm for much tighter border control so I must be a racist.

Our family is looking forward to the attending the quincinera (kind of a Mexican sweet 16 party for 15-year-olds) of our neighbors' daughter, but I am a racist because I think businesses who hire illegal aliens should be fined.

One of the coolest things I have done at my church is worship in the Spanish service--it's awesome to see the passion in their singing and praying--but I'm a racist because I think babies born to illegals should not be U.S. citizens.

The same next-door neighbors have had a series of undocumented brothers live in a trailer in a side yard right next to our house. We have had nothing but pleasant dealings with these hard-working young men who often help me when they see me working outside, but I am a racist because I think illegals shouldn't be allowed in our public schools.

My wife reached out to my Mexican neighbors on the other side of us and has met with the wife on a regular basis to help her learn English, but I am a racist because I don't think illegals should be granted drivers licenses.

My son has a "band" which practices in our house, meaning we often feed dinner to his friends Fernando and Panda (a nickname), but I am a racist because I think proof of citizenship should be required at polling places.

I could go on, but I think by now it is abundantly clear that I harbor deep hatred toward an entire people group. You probably shouldn't be caught reading anything I have written if you have a shred a decency in your soul.

He Picked the Wrong Cereal!

Yesterday was not Larry Krueger's day.

The San Francisco talk show host stumbled upon not one, but two new ways of offending people and will certainly lose his job as soon as the caterwauling becomes shrill enough or congress gets involved--whichever comes first.

In the same commentary where he coined the ethnic slur, "Caribbean" (see previous post), he tried to improve upon the common metaphor, "his brain is mush," used to describe someone who doesn't think clearly.

Instead of the word "mush," Krueger got fancy and used the actual name of an actual mush, Cream of Wheat, when describing Giants' Manager Felipe Alou's brain.

He picked the wrong cereal.

Cream of Wheat packages have the picture of a smiling black chef offering up a bowl of steaming cereal to entice us. Apparently Krueger saying, "You have a manager in Felipe whose mind has turned to Cream of Wheat" is some sort of code for "Felipe Alou looks like that subservient black fellow on the box of Cream of Wheat.

Good thing he didn't use Count Chocula.

He could simply have said that Alou was a Fruit Loop--that's a cereal. And come to think of it, Fruit Loops have the advantage of being many different colors. They have diversity, yeah! You could call into question a persons mental processes and imply that they are part of the rainbow coalition all at the same time! Not to mention that a toucan is part of the rain forest.

It seems that Mr. Krueger needs to attend some sort of sensitivity class for serial offenders. Maybe local supermarkets could expand their businesses by conducting such classes right there in the cereal aisle. Certainly if you are going to be in radio you would need to know all the various connotations of foods in your grain group.

I wonder what would it have meant if he used Quaker Oats Instant Oatmeal as his mush of choice. Wouldn't it be more offensive for a Dominican to be called an old white guy with a wig?

Somehow I don't think anyone would have even noticed if that was the cereal he picked.

Update: Surprisingly, Larry Krueger was fired today.