That Dirty Dog: a Story

My dog is a four-legged Houdini.

I've never put him in a straight jacket, but he seems to escape my back yard no matter how many times I screw those fence boards back in.

So yesterday I had just put him in the yard and bolted the gate, and no sooner had I walked 10 feet, then he scampered past me down the street. Knowing by now that it was fruitless to call him, I just hopped in the car to run him down--I mean, follow him.

You see, he is an easy dog to catch if you just open up the car door. Pull up alongside of him and he jumps right in because he somehow hasn't figured out that it is a trap and his fun is over.

But yesterday, it was he who had the last laugh.

I located him after driving a ways down the block and pulled up with the door open to receive him. He jumped right in as planned, but I soon had the feeling that something wasn't quite right. As a matter of fact, it wasn't right at all!

It turns out I had just let a dog who was covered in crap jump into my lap and scoot around in my car!

And that's not all: Now that I had the dog, I had to hold onto him so he didn't escape again, but while I was hugging this feces with four legs, I couldn't reach the door to close it!

Finally, I turned off the ignition and put the car in park in the middle of the street so I could take my foot off the pedal and lean over to close the door.

Then I could enjoy my ride home with my dirty dog! (No, I have no idea how he got doo doo all over his neck and right side.)

The End